p0tat0p0tty

2012-02-15T01:18:00.002+08:00

Circumstances have made me a very lonely person ._.

Happy V'day! not exactly

2012-02-14T20:07:00.000+08:00

Alright there have been instances when I wanted to blog but just got too lazy to blog. So basically today is valentines day and not like i have a date or anything... the fact is I nvr had one. So this year, its the same. (almost did not have anyone to have dinner with.__.) Oh wells so what made me want to blog so badly? I guess it hurts me or makes me feel sad to see people or friends that I care about smoking. If they are not important to me, I won't care about it at all. But well I just felt a sense of sadness suddenly and maybe cause I always choose to turn away so I hate myself for that... its damn SIAN! yep so as the whole world is celebrating this sweet and meaningful day. I choose to hide in my room (&$%#^#*&*&%) ok damn I should move on from this feeling already. yes and start to study and stuff......

2012-01-22T23:21:00.001+08:00

ok. I should have guessed... i am relieved, but HAIZ WHYYYY ._.

Lonely

2012-01-16T21:55:00.003+08:00

Its not fun being in hall. and even with my roomie around i guess it doesn't make it much better... feel like ponning the rest of my monday classes. I don't get it at all :( tutor pls? As the day draws nearer the more low I feel. But I'm sure I'll be better after it passes! GOGOGO!

2012-01-16T14:14:00.000+08:00

2012-01-15T18:32:00.000+08:00

Bloody IMPERFECTIONS IMPERFECTIONS IMPERFECTIONS. yes and I hate the fact that I have so many of them... appearance, money, studies, achievements, love. Its stupid to think this way but it sucks when you want something so badly and you don't get it. Why is it that what I want is so simple and yet so hard to achieve? I think there is probably something wrong with me.

Is it true that what is not yours will never be yours?

How sad

2011-12-31T11:06:00.004+08:00

yes... one word dissatisfied. I am pretty disappointed in myself, in addition to my results, there is my looks, the way I interact with people. Too much has happened for me to reinforce this feeling I have. And yes I do suffer from a bit of inferiority complex as well. I can't help but feel that almost all my girlfriends are prettier than me. It is also the main reason why I am still single and evergreen. I know looks are not everything, but that is what matters and it is damn freaking obvious that it is super important. Whenever I look around its always the pretty girls that are getting attached and liked, and the guys around me always end up liking my best friend. Life is getting too predictable. Well today is already the last day of 2011 and all I feel is crap, loneliness, and B O R E D. Maybe I should just dig a hole and stick my head inside -.- So who will really appreciate me for who I am? For most part of my life I was never the main lead which makes me totally unimportant and insignificant. Basically I am pretty sick of trying and hoping. May 2012 be better.

2011-12-22T02:20:00.000+08:00

i dunno what i shld be feeling now... just in a very stunned mode... everyone is like doing so well._. omgggg wth is wrong with me??!!! why can't i calculate for nuts. :( i already sucked at my quizzes and even my finals were just pathetic... this is super damn saddening... but i will get over it? and aim to do better next sem? better start reading some stuff already......

2011-11-29T17:49:00.001+08:00

沮喪

2011-11-28T23:07:00.003+08:00

你不再拥有我熟悉的那张脸...

2011-11-26T23:54:00.001+08:00

4 MORE DAYS TO FREEDOM!!!! (and possibly more partying :D)

2011-11-23T22:58:00.001+08:00

你是否有想过自己的密码可以托付给谁，而人与人之间是否也需要通关密码？

2011-11-15T22:13:00.001+08:00

Nothing from you at all... as if you never existed.

2011-11-07T22:43:00.001+08:00

I guess I still not quite over with... well at least I am not the only one being ignored. But it irks me to tink that the both of you are still in contact (just bu shuang -.-)... well not surprising.

OK nvm that. as days pass the more I feel that I will be #foreveralone. What an apt description of me, my life and right at this moment. When will I meet my Mr Right? Haiz depressing much but I doubt it'll be anytime soon. And in the meantime, I would really want to see myself do well for the final exams this sem...

The weather totally suits my mood...

2011-10-31T18:50:00.002+08:00

... ok so it is pretty gloomy and dark, which makes me feel damn emo and low. But this is not for no reason, cause its just sad that I am always all alone in hall and there is no freaking person who can hang out with me and I know its not because I am doing a bad job in making friends or just interaction with people but its mainly because my grp of friends are pretty boring to hang out with maybe? Just finding someone to watch movie with me and hangout is super damn difficult. Sometimes it just makes me feel tempted to watch movie by myself. That's how much of a loner I am -.- Really not enjoying that much of uni life. I guess it was so much more fun with john elf junde etc around ._. and I have my girlfriends to hang out with too...

2011-10-13T16:25:00.003+08:00

Really no life at all...and my proj grp mates are just not really helping? Its quite frustrating when you want to work on something when you have the time and not being able to... SERIOUSLY. Seems like i practically wasted my day away already... could have spent it at home!

2011-09-30T12:16:00.002+08:00

hmmm... why isn't there any news from you? :/

Today was just too damn boring

2011-09-25T19:20:00.001+08:00

...I guess I've not really updated ever since uni started. Well uni has given me a rather different experience with all the camps, all the new friends I made. But it gives you a rather empty feeling as well. I would really want to live my uni life to the fullest! BTW I can't wait for you to be back ><

#foreveryoung

2011-07-15T10:24:00.002+08:00

Poetic Heartache

2011-07-13T17:26:00.004+08:00

2011-07-09T10:41:00.004+08:00

Being part of this organisation i do feel that it is the right thing to do. People usually dun see what you see and thats how misunderstandings come about. After finding out more information i actually feel that this is a great vehicle, not only for a more secure future, but also a great avenue for character/personal development.

It struck me that there are so many young people out there who are basically clueless about their dreams and goals. Everyone is a follower. We just follow what the majority does and sometimes come to the conclusion that what the minority is doing is wrong.

People always have a preconceived idea that someone whom they do not know will mean harm to them which may be true to a certain extend, however there are many people out there who genuinely want to help.

Our society has actually conditioned us think in certain ways and the only for one to break out of this will require much faith and willingness to be open minded and step out of our comfort zone.

2011-07-09T10:37:00.000+08:00

2011-06-27T13:15:00.001+08:00

IMPOSSIBLY CUTE

2011-06-24T10:56:00.003+08:00

2011-06-16T10:31:00.002+08:00

Basically, i hate making decisions, and right now why shld i be stepping into this multi-level marketing thing? Well maybe my motivation isn't strong enough but sometimes i do wish to do something for myself, extra income probably too? It seems like a very scary thing to do, but after reading rich dad, poor dad, it actually mentioned that its not a bad idea to actually venture into multi-level marketing. Perhaps it trains you in various aspects but the truth is i would really want to know what is their job scope like, the commitment etc.

._.

2011-06-14T22:46:00.000+08:00

Guess it'll be my most lonely birthday ever.

We live young

2011-06-13T11:53:00.001+08:00

I'll fly away on the trip to your heart

2011-06-11T13:05:00.001+08:00

Hiding is hoping to be found

2011-06-11T02:09:00.003+08:00

You really make me feel like I'm a nutcase...yea I am so weird. My birthday is coming but I dun even feel like I'm turning 19. Birthdays dun feel that special to me anymore.. And yep mayb I shld just forget abt everything and learn to live in contentment.

justlittlethings

2011-06-08T00:42:00.004+08:00

2011-06-07T16:38:00.000+08:00

Damn its true

2011-06-06T21:30:00.002+08:00

When I text you, its because I miss you. When I don't text you, its when I am waiting for you to miss me.

2011-06-05T21:37:00.001+08:00

veryveryvery rainy day -.-

2011-06-05T10:24:00.002+08:00

It was the thunder that totally woke me up today... then I started to think: shit, how are we gonna meet later???!!! zzz yes from a time which I dunno when, I've always been the one to organise and plan gatherings etc. Its not something which i dislike, in fact I loved doing it! but it sucks when I have to do everything and there's not really any one else who would bother to help me... -.- I guess I will just try to figure it out later anddddd HOPEFULLY the rain stops too :/

Lately, I've been thinking alot (as usual) and I always go back to the same point. Its like being lost in the forest and then you keep walking back to the same spot.

From the bottom of my heart

2011-06-03T23:53:00.005+08:00

People always say that it is good not being a relationship, so free and easy... Burdenless I guess? It is true.. But the lack of companionship sucks too right -.- you see people in pairs and wonder when will you ever be in a freaking relationship. I am always told that I will get my chance etc in uni. But I will never be so certain and sure. I guess I can say this, once (or mayb twice) bitten, very shy. It seems like i am always the one left behind i guess and perhaps forgotten. Now i do find myself pitiful.. And of course, it is not easy to see all your closest friends get attached, having their sweet lovey dovey moments that they dun actually have time for you. Actually i totally understand.. And yep they also have their own sets of problems that any normal couple will face. That is the downside. Despite all these.. It doesn't make me any much happier to be single. Why i guess it is partly abt the self esteem thing as i wonder whether i am not good enough, mayb every single person just finds me nice to talk to. Ok but i still tink that its the looks department that i really lack in zzz. Yes, i definitely have considered plastic surgery, and if and when the opportunity arises for me to do it, i probably whld! Ok so back to the point.. Yes regarding relationships.. I am no expert and definitely nvr got the chance to experience one YET.. But i always feel like i have already been through enough, heard enough to know what being in a relationship entails.

Ok yep.. So my personal experiences did not end up as ideal as i hoped. And the reason I suffered is probably because of my naivety and foolishness. I can't say that I've fully walked out of whatever I have gone through... But as days go by, it just seems easier for me I guess? Because like what everyone tells me, you're just not worth it because you'll nvr appreciate me for all that I have and can do for you! Ok soooo I must admit that I am still waiting for the day when I will have my own share of joy and happiness!

Poetic Heartache

2011-05-22T15:34:00.003+08:00

2011-05-14T10:43:00.000+08:00

Gradually you no longer dream.

2011-05-12T19:30:00.000+08:00

Imma red head naoooo!!!:D:D:D

2011-05-11T23:17:00.000+08:00

I'm like a bird, I only fly away

2011-05-08T22:30:00.002+08:00

Damn pretty! This reminds me she's no longer in Transformers :/ Need to watch thor too!

2011-05-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

Bye bye

2011-05-05T22:59:00.002+08:00

2011-05-05T14:44:00.002+08:00

How true and accurate is horoscope? Now everything seems very true to me.

2011-05-04T23:29:00.001+08:00

For some people when they are feeling down, they either binge or starve. For me I am definitely on the bingeing side.

2011-05-04T17:26:00.002+08:00

For some time whenever I see 11:11 I only wished for myself to be happier.

2011-05-03T23:01:00.001+08:00

It is never as easy as it seems.

2011-04-28T23:51:00.000+08:00

I suddenly feel that I am free again!

2011-04-27T21:09:00.001+08:00

I'm doing well!

2011-04-23T15:06:00.001+08:00

Give me alittle more time and I can.

Don't go pulling me back in again.

2011-04-22T00:07:00.001+08:00

当局者迷, 旁观者清

I Love You

2011-04-19T09:05:00.005+08:00

La la
La la la la
La la
La la la la
I like your smile
I like your vibe
I like your style
But that’s not why I love you
And I, I like the way
You’re such a star
But that’s not why I love you
Hey, Do you feel, do you feel me?
Do you feel what I feel, too?
Do you need, do you need me?
Do you need me?
You’re so beautiful
But that’s not why I love you
I’m not sure you know
That the reason I love you is you
Being you
Just you
Yeah the reason I love you is all that we’ve been through
And that’s why I love you
La la
La la la la
La la
La la la la

2011-04-11T18:56:00.000+08:00

HAISSSS WHY DIDN'T I DO BETTER T.T I am so freaking stressed and worried right now if i don't get into anything i dunno what i can do man... X/

2011-04-09T00:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i can't help but want to compare my life with others... evrything so sweet and blissful. What is there for me right now? hmm pretty darn boring wells and ok i must say that i enjoy the freedom that i have too just that it is not too greedy for me to wish for something more right? haissss

2011-04-05T22:02:00.001+08:00

sometimes I really don't get you at all ._.

2011-03-23T23:42:00.004+08:00

... The sinking feeling is the worse ever. You'll be so overwhelmed and the sadness will just swallow you whole and you won't even be able to cry out...you may sink so deep that you find it hard to breathe and in the end all is left of you is an empty shell

2011-03-23T16:57:00.000+08:00

I must admit... Life is really unfair... :/ Haizzz so siannnn

2011-03-04T11:03:00.001+08:00

In DISTRESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! DDDD:

2011-02-28T23:56:00.001+08:00

Today is the worse day of my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeee T.T.......................................................

2011-02-28T18:27:00.001+08:00

Hate it! I am a Xiao qi gui!zzz

2011-02-26T23:33:00.002+08:00

Why is it always disappointment after disappointment?

2011-02-20T00:31:00.000+08:00

I guess I'll be watching alone

2011-02-12T14:02:00.002+08:00

so tired and sick... but ytd must be one of the worse... omg gastric pain was so bad that i chldn't even speak... felt my lips turn white and i still had to make my way home. Yes i am still sick with my sorethroat and etc!!!:( wth...so for the past few days, it seems pretty hectic for me cause i had to first design out flyers, then go camp fire etc.. and yea i am just done with the designing of the flyers. I think i am pretty tired now, and i still have to catch a movie later o0 oh wells and things aren't really going on that well for me ... ok so yep i tink i have run out of things to say!

2011-01-30T01:55:00.001+08:00

After today, I realised how I'm still very much in love with you.

2011-01-29T09:54:00.004+08:00

笨蛋。haizzz maybe I am truly the stupid one...I dunno what to do! actually I am pretty confused right now... I will just see how it goes later on!

2011-01-27T19:55:00.002+08:00

Finally home early after so many days of staying out late... so yea... i feel a wave of emotions again...am i a happier person now? i really don't know why can't i just let it go and let it be. this seriously sucks and i knew that this is sth that i will eventually experience which totally sucked..

i can't and am not supposed to be always brooding over the same old things its just a cycle which goes on and on and on and i have no idea how to stop this. if it is just as the saying goes, time heals all wounds, i hope my heart will slowly mend itself then...

2011-01-15T23:51:00.002+08:00

I know I shldn't and probably whldn't expect anything else already... but sometimes its just so hard? maybe I shldn't have set my foot in this quicksand, sinking further and further in, not being able to climb back up...

2011-01-14T21:18:00.001+08:00

怎么办????????!!!!!!!!!!!! isit just me or wat?????

2010-12-29T22:30:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I really wonder... Do people ____ me? ._. Hmm is there sth wrong with me?? I really dun know cause sometimes I dun think that anyone cares

2010-12-22T01:38:00.002+08:00

2010-12-20T10:53:00.001+08:00

2010-12-19T23:18:00.002+08:00

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >____________<

2010-12-19T00:48:00.001+08:00

I.AM.SO.MISERABLE.

screw this shit

2010-12-15T11:10:00.000+08:00

不要为了一根草放弃整个森林... right

2010-12-14T00:09:00.001+08:00

Is crying mentally exhausting? Cause I find it much easier to cry myself to sleep

2010-12-10T19:33:00.000+08:00

Exercising always makes me feel better!

2010-12-08T19:26:00.001+08:00

Obliviate

2010-12-08T11:20:00.003+08:00

那一尘厚厚的浓妆，就像是个保护自己的面具。戴上了它，自己似乎也变成了另一个人，或着是一个自己重来都没有看过的一面。在那疯狂狂欢的气氛中，隐藏着不能表现出来的痛和伤。可能这就是该结束的时候了。

2010-12-06T12:39:00.000+08:00

Eggciting, no? ^^

2010-11-29T23:16:00.001+08:00

All you care about is money, I'm so glad that I'm not like you.

2010-11-28T12:52:00.005+08:00

1) Never really notices you

2) Has never asked you out before

3) Chooses to ignore your messages after some time

4) Texts other girls

5) Speaks to you like a normal friend

6) You are the only one waiting

He's just not that into you.

2010-11-26T00:21:00.001+08:00

"Sometimes to lose balance falling in love, is part of living balance in life"

2010-11-24T23:45:00.006+08:00

hmm 200th post!!! amazinglyyy and yeppp after all the resting and slacking around its like i really dunno what to do already... its like my life is super empty??? there is one obvious reason why but yeaaa there's nothing i can do about it right??

sometimes i will really think and wonder about lots and lots of things and its just sooooo frustrating i guess? cause you can't really control and do something about it X(

so i found out something about myself, its really quite weird. I think i am abit "sadistic" in the sense that i seem to like to wallow in self pity??? maybe that totally explains my inferiority complex but yeaaa i like to empathise and feel sorry for myself and its quite stupid when i actually purposely seem to want to make myself feel sad and stuff... i seem like a nutcase seriously but i guess thats something that can happen to someone right? oh wells i dun really know... but most of the time i do feel pretty lonely and stuff X// not so good a feeling at all!

ITS OVERRRRRR (sorta lol)

2010-11-24T00:33:00.004+08:00

hahahaa who cares about the fact that we totally disregard bio mcq liaooo LOL wellll but of course i do wanna score well for it ^^!!! hmm today just feeeeeellsss PERFECT!!! mere words can't describe how amazing i feeeeeeeeeell!!! its like so many emotions feelings of relieve, liberation, contentment, blissfulness and yep just pure HAPPINESSS!!!! It has been so long since i last felt this way maybe after prelims? BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT!!!! cause its almost really the endddd HAHAHAHAHA hahaha i feel totally blessed and on the way home i was totally thinking so much that i couldn't wait to vomit all of my these "verbal diarrhea" LOL sooooooo today has been great! and sometimes it takes me off some things! well i do need the distraction anyway!

ok so thinking things through made me feel quite contented and at least i feel that my econs wasn't too bad? haha eventhough i usually just suck at it oh wellllsssss and even though i totally got laughed at by yap thousands of times today, i am generally still quite happy and stuff! cause its not much time left when we can all hang out together talk crap and laugh at each other!!! so ok its weird to end so abruptly here but......... WHO CARES!!!!! hahahahahahahahahaa i seriously believe that i am the only one who like comes here and yep i'll like to think that way too! XD

(ps. I'M HUNGRY!!!!)

2010-11-20T19:55:00.002+08:00

Defrosted! ^^

2010-11-20T00:08:00.000+08:00

Feeling so much better after reading all those things! ^^

2010-11-18T19:49:00.003+08:00

What am I gonna do without you

2010-11-16T17:53:00.001+08:00

T.T after chem today..... can go and cry already... how to get A or even B??? X(((( my god hais i feel like i have let mrs lee down... the point is i am still sadddddd X/// the worse thing is that i feel like i've wasted my time mugging for chem =.=oh wells hope evrything else will be fine!!!!

2010-11-09T17:32:00.000+08:00

oh may the bell curve shift in my favour!!!!~~~

2010-11-08T11:49:00.001+08:00

OMGGGGG 好想哭!!!!!!! T.T

Enchanted

2010-11-06T21:48:00.004+08:00

There I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles

Same old tired, lonely place

Walls of insincerity

Shifting eyes and vancancy vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered "have we met?"

Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me

The playful conversation starts

Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you

All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up

2am, who do you love?

I wonder till I'm wide awake

Now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door

I'd open up and you would say,

It was enchanting to meet you

All I know is I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that this was the very first page

Not where the story line ends

My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again

These are the words I held back as I was leaving too soon I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

给自己

2010-11-04T18:32:00.004+08:00

真的在想...你到底在干什么啊??????!!!!!!!!!!!-.-越来越觉得自己快疯了。如果是正常人也会觉得我是神经病吧? 到现在我都还没清醒...要怎么做才好呢? 重点是没有人能帮助我而我也只能靠我自己! 但是谁都知道说的容易做的难...

常常都在胡思乱想, 而且也超喜欢分析...但是我所做的一切有意义吗??!!!显然没有 -.-我就是个笨蛋，喜欢做无谓的事。不管怎样我还是抱着个希望, 因为人总应该有个梦想吧?

2010-11-03T20:28:00.002+08:00

Wish I could tell you everything...

Youtopia

2010-11-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

"you're my sweetest dream come true"

2010-10-31T22:42:00.003+08:00

Long live the walls we crashed through,
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

2010-10-30T10:07:00.001+08:00

A day without you is like a year without rain

2010-10-27T19:34:00.001+08:00

Before you know it, everything comes tumbling down

2010-10-24T01:56:00.001+08:00

X((( what the hell is this mannnn...

2010-10-15T17:41:00.003+08:00

suddenly miss hearing this!

Disco

2010-10-14T19:15:00.002+08:00

我跳着迪斯科
在你的胸口
我用尽全身力气去跳去赶上你的心跳节奏
我不会再追求
不敢想起你的从容
只要你快起哄别让我放轻松

Fort Minor - Where'd you go

2010-10-08T18:38:00.003+08:00

Miss this song